One good thing about being on such a strict diet, is even if you're "cheating", you're probably still not eating very many calories. For example, today I consumed 1,096 calories. It's more than I would consume if I followed this diet 100%, but today I was busy running around and going to class and I had no time to go home and really eat what I was supposed to.
I have also definintely come to the conclusion that mornings are the hardest for me. I wake up CRAVING junk food. I think it's a bad habit, because for years I would always get fast food for breakfast, or starbucks sweet coffee drinks & a muffin, or whatever. So i've got to train my brain back into not thinking like this when I wake up.
This morning was no exception. i woke up craving coffee and crumbleberry cake from starbucks! i knew there was no way i could have that. I went to my dermatologist this morning (more on that later) so i decided to stop in at my favorite restaurant ever, called Just Fresh, and get my favorite wrap- but it's kinda fatty. It's called a Little Red Rooster, and has Roasted Chicken, Lettuce, Tomato, applewood bacon, ham, provolone cheese, and honey dijon vinagrette wrapped in a tomato and basil wrap. I got no cheese, which was saving calories. Just Fresh is a very small chain, and I couldn't find any nutritional info for the sandwhich. So I just did my best guess and searched all the ingredients on calorie count. I also had a chargrilled chicken sandwhich from Chikfila (only 260 calories) and a nonfat caramel machiato iced from starbucks (only 190 calories). I had some grilled chicken and pinapple for a snack, so all in all I didn't do that bad. I mean, it wasn't Six Week Body Makeover friendly, but my calories were less than 1383 (which is my daily limit no matter what).
I also went to the gym today. I could only walk for like 30 minutes though....i was in pain. This medicine is still making me sick. Honestly I'm proud of myself that I even went, because I really was exhausted and didn't feel well. But after reading some of these posts on here, I have had it drilled into my head that even SOME exercise is better than NONE. It's so true. And I feel glad i did it.
So i went to my dermatologist today. My $500 dollar fancy shcmancy antibiotics for my acne are not working. It makes sense though, because my acne is not caused by bacteria- with everything i put on my skin, it very well kept & clean. So I decided to start taking Spirolacatone (spelled wrong... aka Spiro). It is a diuretic and an androgen blocker. Androgens are the different variations of the male hormone, testosterone, which is what causes my acne. It takes a while, but hopefully it really helps.
I was on the lowest Tazorac cream (.05% cream) so she gave me samples of all the other higher types- ranging from highest to lowest: .05% gel, .1% cream, .1% gel. I'm going to start with the .05% gel tonight and see if it makes a difference. Tazorac SHOULD dry my skin out a little, which is hasn't done, so i'm going to increase the doses slowly until I find what works.
I was doing very well on my diet....and then I ate a bunch of chips & guacamole =( My friends and I made a late night trip to super wal mart and there was soooo many things I wanted to eat there. But I have been craving chips & guac for such a long time, so I opted for that, knowing it would satisfy my cravings instead of eating a bunch of halloween candy that my friends bought. I did eat a little too much though...i'm estimating about 400 calories worth. like 15 chips (which is like 200 calories and 1 1/2 snack packs of guacamole (150 calories all together). I dunno...honestly i'm not too disappointed with what I did. I wish I wouldve eaten less, but I'm happier that I made a healthy choice even though I really wanted to eat an entire bag of reese's pumpkins.
but like i said, this is a lifestyle change! any healthy choice is improvement.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
A list of rewards for when I reach a goal!
I have all these little things I want to do, but I don't have money for. Luckily (and unluckily) I have parents that want nothing more for me except lose weight. That's another story in itself, but the good thing about losing weight is I know once I meet certain goals, I'll have certain rewards that I can look forward to as I progress. These aren't things picked out by my parents, it's all my choices, but i know that with every goal i meet they will be supportive & help me (financially) get the rewards. i'm in a hard college and taking 19 hours this semester...they want me to focus on school & getting healthy, since those are the most important things. I'm lucky to have parents that can support me financially I know, but I am on scholarship to school so i'm saving them a tonnnn of money.
190 pounds- Stretch Mark Cream!!
175- Formula 37 - a hair growing kid with vitamins, shampoo & conditioner. my hair doesn't grow, and this is a money back gaurantee!
160- Get my hair colored!!
145- Keratin hair treatment! I had this done once, and omg
130- clothes!!!!
115- Hair extensions!! (my hair doesn't grow very fast, and never has. i've always wanted extensions)
these are subject to change...the first 2 i know will not, but we'll see what happens!!
190 pounds- Stretch Mark Cream!!
175- Formula 37 - a hair growing kid with vitamins, shampoo & conditioner. my hair doesn't grow, and this is a money back gaurantee!
160- Get my hair colored!!
145- Keratin hair treatment! I had this done once, and omg
130- clothes!!!!
115- Hair extensions!! (my hair doesn't grow very fast, and never has. i've always wanted extensions)
these are subject to change...the first 2 i know will not, but we'll see what happens!!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Overview of My Condition- PCOS (Poly cystic ovarian syndrome)
I wish I had written this earlier. I realize that a lot of you are very, very blessed to not have to deal with this condition I have called PCOS. Therefore, you may not know about it. I certainly did not until I was diagnosed. So i'm gonna give you a little re-cap, just incase you want to know what it is I'm talking about when I say I have PCOS.
PCOS stands for PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome. basically, it makes your hormones all out of whack. Because of this, You gain weight super easily, frequently miss periods, have acne, hair growth (like on your chin, belly, and body hair just generally grows a lot faster and is thicker) and hair loss (from your head). the periods/hair/skin side effects are all because when you have PCOS, your body produces more of an androgen hormone called testosterone than it should. testosterone is the male hormone that triggers acne, hairgrowth/loss, missed periods, ect.
Although I have done a TON of research over the last year myself on PCOS, no one really knows how or why it starts exactly. There is no cure, and it is hard to manage, but it is do-able. Doctors know that weight plays a significant part in PCOS. Fat cells can cause over production of testosterone and bind with estrogen (the female hormone), which can cause all of your symptoms.
**However, not everyone who is overweight has PCOS, infact there are plenty of overweight or obese women that don't have it. But almost everyone that has PCOS is overweight, or have delt with a weight problem in their life.
So the question is... does PCOS cause you to be overweight, or does being overweight cause PCOS? There are theories, but No one really knows. But it is true that when you have PCOS, it is harder to lose weight. The hormones have a direct effect on your body's ability to lose weight, for whatever reason.
This is what makes it hard. Every doctor you go to says, "lose weight, PCOS will get better". However, that is not the easiest way. Lots of women take birth control pills, metformin, spiractalone (sp?) or flutamide (sp?), or a combination of all.
Personally, I'm not sure if I will ever go on another birth control pill again for as long as I live. Once I got off of them when I was 17, I had been taking them for 2 years. I was overweight, but not obese, had mild but controllable acne and never had any facial hair or hair loss problems (although my hair has never, ever grown at a normal rate...it grows very slow. it's weird.) Once I got off my birth control pills, I didn't have a period for 7 months. I started to have hair growth. I lost weight, but only because I went vegan, and then once I stopped being vegan I gained weight.
There are theories that when women with PCOS take birth control pills, they have to stay on them for forever, and when they get off their hormones are going to go crazy out of whack. This is kind of what I feel what happened to me. But part of me thinks that maybe my birth control pills were just masking my PCOS problem , and I always had it. I think it's kind of a combination of the two, because i always had acne more than my friends, and i never ever had regular periods. But who knows?
Well, doctor's don't. that's the main frustration with having this condition.there are very few specialists in PCOS because there just simply isn't that much information on it to begin with.
Luckily, I found a doctor who actually knows a little bit about PCOS (seriously, most doctors don't know a damn thing about it). She perscribed me Metformin. This is the medicine I am taking now, which makes me super nauseous all the time. It is typically given to people with type 2 diabetes, but since insulin resistance and PCOS go hand-in-hand (insulin is just another hormone that is out of whack because of PCOS), it is perscribed for PCOS too sometimes. Usually it is perscribed for PCOS patients because it can help them lose weight.
When I told my doctor I had been trying and trying to lose weight and I wasn't, she suggested Metformin. She said that the weight wasn't going to melt off, it wasn't a magic diet pill, but it would put me on the same level as a normal girl my age trying to lose weight. So basically, with this pill, supposedly my body will lose weight at a normal rate. Hallelujah.
When you lose weight, your symptoms and side effects of having PCOS decrease dramatically because since you have less fat, you have less testosterone production, which in turn balances out your other hormones. sadly, little are successful in losing weight just because it is so difficult with this disorder.
However, I am lucky. I caught this early, almost as early as you can detect it in a patient. Usually a doctor can't really diagnose PCOS until after puberty is completely & hormones have stablized (or in my case, haven't stablized haha). I can't say exactly how long i've had this because no one knows if it's something I was born with, or if i've just developed it over time. but I was officially dianosed about a year and a half ago. There are many many women out there who aren't diagnosed for 20 years and have had it there whole lives, and never know. I have been told my many women such as these that I am lucky that I am catching it early. These are the same women who literally can grow a full beard everyday and constantly shave their face, or the women who are losing clumps of hair and completely going bald, and ontop of that have acne & are obese. The hairgrowth I have is slowly getting worse, but supposedly like every other side effect of PCOS, will get better with weight loss. Weight loss = less testosterone = less hair growth, less acne, no hair failling out.
it's weird to deal with this being 19. but I am lucky I caught it early. They say only 5% of women have PCOS, but i'm super positive that's wrong. I bet you about 30% of women have it, but only 5% are diagnosed. My mom, for example, was never diagnosed with PCOS (and still hasn't been, now that she is past menopause) but talking to her about the acne/hair growth/ hair loss made me realize she had it when she was growing up too. But the weird thing about that? My mom was thin. She was never over a size 4 until she was 40 years old. She was runner up actually in a Miss America pageant (but I won't tell you which one). It's just weird to think, that she had acne & hair growth (though not as bad as mine) but she was thin. But supposedly this is all from being fat?
Like I said...who really knows.
So yeah, I am taking Metformin, in hopes that it will give me a chance to get this weight off, and hopefully get my PCOS undercontrol. But right now, it's just making me want to throw up!!
I really hope this helped some of you who don't know what PCOS is. I think it's so important that peolple become more aware of it. And please note- you do not have to be overweight to have PCOS. if you have any of the symptoms i talked about, mainly if you have irregular periods, you should talk to your doctor. the sooner you know about what's going on, the sooner you can take care of it.
<3
PCOS stands for PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome. basically, it makes your hormones all out of whack. Because of this, You gain weight super easily, frequently miss periods, have acne, hair growth (like on your chin, belly, and body hair just generally grows a lot faster and is thicker) and hair loss (from your head). the periods/hair/skin side effects are all because when you have PCOS, your body produces more of an androgen hormone called testosterone than it should. testosterone is the male hormone that triggers acne, hairgrowth/loss, missed periods, ect.
Although I have done a TON of research over the last year myself on PCOS, no one really knows how or why it starts exactly. There is no cure, and it is hard to manage, but it is do-able. Doctors know that weight plays a significant part in PCOS. Fat cells can cause over production of testosterone and bind with estrogen (the female hormone), which can cause all of your symptoms.
**However, not everyone who is overweight has PCOS, infact there are plenty of overweight or obese women that don't have it. But almost everyone that has PCOS is overweight, or have delt with a weight problem in their life.
So the question is... does PCOS cause you to be overweight, or does being overweight cause PCOS? There are theories, but No one really knows. But it is true that when you have PCOS, it is harder to lose weight. The hormones have a direct effect on your body's ability to lose weight, for whatever reason.
This is what makes it hard. Every doctor you go to says, "lose weight, PCOS will get better". However, that is not the easiest way. Lots of women take birth control pills, metformin, spiractalone (sp?) or flutamide (sp?), or a combination of all.
Personally, I'm not sure if I will ever go on another birth control pill again for as long as I live. Once I got off of them when I was 17, I had been taking them for 2 years. I was overweight, but not obese, had mild but controllable acne and never had any facial hair or hair loss problems (although my hair has never, ever grown at a normal rate...it grows very slow. it's weird.) Once I got off my birth control pills, I didn't have a period for 7 months. I started to have hair growth. I lost weight, but only because I went vegan, and then once I stopped being vegan I gained weight.
There are theories that when women with PCOS take birth control pills, they have to stay on them for forever, and when they get off their hormones are going to go crazy out of whack. This is kind of what I feel what happened to me. But part of me thinks that maybe my birth control pills were just masking my PCOS problem , and I always had it. I think it's kind of a combination of the two, because i always had acne more than my friends, and i never ever had regular periods. But who knows?
Well, doctor's don't. that's the main frustration with having this condition.there are very few specialists in PCOS because there just simply isn't that much information on it to begin with.
Luckily, I found a doctor who actually knows a little bit about PCOS (seriously, most doctors don't know a damn thing about it). She perscribed me Metformin. This is the medicine I am taking now, which makes me super nauseous all the time. It is typically given to people with type 2 diabetes, but since insulin resistance and PCOS go hand-in-hand (insulin is just another hormone that is out of whack because of PCOS), it is perscribed for PCOS too sometimes. Usually it is perscribed for PCOS patients because it can help them lose weight.
When I told my doctor I had been trying and trying to lose weight and I wasn't, she suggested Metformin. She said that the weight wasn't going to melt off, it wasn't a magic diet pill, but it would put me on the same level as a normal girl my age trying to lose weight. So basically, with this pill, supposedly my body will lose weight at a normal rate. Hallelujah.
When you lose weight, your symptoms and side effects of having PCOS decrease dramatically because since you have less fat, you have less testosterone production, which in turn balances out your other hormones. sadly, little are successful in losing weight just because it is so difficult with this disorder.
However, I am lucky. I caught this early, almost as early as you can detect it in a patient. Usually a doctor can't really diagnose PCOS until after puberty is completely & hormones have stablized (or in my case, haven't stablized haha). I can't say exactly how long i've had this because no one knows if it's something I was born with, or if i've just developed it over time. but I was officially dianosed about a year and a half ago. There are many many women out there who aren't diagnosed for 20 years and have had it there whole lives, and never know. I have been told my many women such as these that I am lucky that I am catching it early. These are the same women who literally can grow a full beard everyday and constantly shave their face, or the women who are losing clumps of hair and completely going bald, and ontop of that have acne & are obese. The hairgrowth I have is slowly getting worse, but supposedly like every other side effect of PCOS, will get better with weight loss. Weight loss = less testosterone = less hair growth, less acne, no hair failling out.
it's weird to deal with this being 19. but I am lucky I caught it early. They say only 5% of women have PCOS, but i'm super positive that's wrong. I bet you about 30% of women have it, but only 5% are diagnosed. My mom, for example, was never diagnosed with PCOS (and still hasn't been, now that she is past menopause) but talking to her about the acne/hair growth/ hair loss made me realize she had it when she was growing up too. But the weird thing about that? My mom was thin. She was never over a size 4 until she was 40 years old. She was runner up actually in a Miss America pageant (but I won't tell you which one). It's just weird to think, that she had acne & hair growth (though not as bad as mine) but she was thin. But supposedly this is all from being fat?
Like I said...who really knows.
So yeah, I am taking Metformin, in hopes that it will give me a chance to get this weight off, and hopefully get my PCOS undercontrol. But right now, it's just making me want to throw up!!
I really hope this helped some of you who don't know what PCOS is. I think it's so important that peolple become more aware of it. And please note- you do not have to be overweight to have PCOS. if you have any of the symptoms i talked about, mainly if you have irregular periods, you should talk to your doctor. the sooner you know about what's going on, the sooner you can take care of it.
<3
Update for today.
I'm going to try to start writing down how many calories I eat in here, and my excerise/ect
910 calories
no working out
no muscle training
....i felt like throwing up all day from this medicine. i just took my nightime dosage and i feel like i'm going to throw up right now, actually.
i can't possibly work out when i feel like this. it's getting better everyday though, but my dosage is also going to double in the next two weeks. ugh.
910 calories
no working out
no muscle training
....i felt like throwing up all day from this medicine. i just took my nightime dosage and i feel like i'm going to throw up right now, actually.
i can't possibly work out when i feel like this. it's getting better everyday though, but my dosage is also going to double in the next two weeks. ugh.
Weekly Weigh In? & Goals
I know it's been a few days since I've written, I haven't felt very well. After my doctor's appointment, I started taking Metformin and it's been making me feel pretty sick. I barely ate anything this weekend, but I didn't work out either except for friday.
I'm supposed to weigh in today, but I didn't really follow my diet that much this week because I was discouraged from my last weigh in and my medicine made me feel awful. I didn't really binge or go completely off of it, but I didn't eat or work out. I don't want to get discouraged, so i'm starting again today. So far so good.
I was watching some vlogs about weight loss, and was able to see the journey an obese woman made over a 20 week period. She lost 35 pounds, and though it seems really slow, she never gave up and she kept on going. So I need to realize that even if I don't lose a lot, it's still something. It's still coming off.
My goal for this week is to work out 6 times. 6 days of cardio. woo!
Also, to expirament with new recipes!
Mini Tazorac Update:
Today is the first day that I can see my skin improving. All the acne that I did have is now healing, and I can tell. I didn't have any new pimples when I woke up this morning, which means I only have 2 active ones that are still under the skin but look like they may not go any further, which is good. I'm so thankful my face looks like its getting better...hopefully I have more good news to come!
I'm supposed to weigh in today, but I didn't really follow my diet that much this week because I was discouraged from my last weigh in and my medicine made me feel awful. I didn't really binge or go completely off of it, but I didn't eat or work out. I don't want to get discouraged, so i'm starting again today. So far so good.
I was watching some vlogs about weight loss, and was able to see the journey an obese woman made over a 20 week period. She lost 35 pounds, and though it seems really slow, she never gave up and she kept on going. So I need to realize that even if I don't lose a lot, it's still something. It's still coming off.
My goal for this week is to work out 6 times. 6 days of cardio. woo!
Also, to expirament with new recipes!
Mini Tazorac Update:
Today is the first day that I can see my skin improving. All the acne that I did have is now healing, and I can tell. I didn't have any new pimples when I woke up this morning, which means I only have 2 active ones that are still under the skin but look like they may not go any further, which is good. I'm so thankful my face looks like its getting better...hopefully I have more good news to come!
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