Epic Fail & We Have a Problem

So if you haven't noticed, I didn't write yesterday. That was a first. I was being slack.
I didn't even log all of my food until the very end of the day- usually once i eat something, I go and immediately log it on caloriecount.about.com

Today, I continued with the slackness but even more so. I fell asleep watching the food network (bad idea) and woke up to Emeril Lagasse pouring peanutbetter and fudge over some icecream/brownie thing. I mean how am i supposed to bounce back from that? So early this morning, I had already decided that I was going to eat some fucking ice cream or chocolate or something today.

Once I had decided that, my mind got totally carried away. I thought of all the other foods i love/crave all the time. I actually opted for a really chicken breast/cranberry/field greens sandwich, which I only ate half of. But then, I ate a reese's cup (serious weakness) and then went for the foods that I promised myself. I went to taco bell/KFC (they are conjoined where i live) and got an order of nachos, and a kid's kfc meal. I also got a snickers ice cream bar.

I threw it all up. I knew I was going to once I ate it. I hated doing it, and it sucked, but it was the easy way out. And I knew that all that food wasn't even worth it, and made me so sad that I had possibly blown my whole diet for nothing.

I threw it all up, and then like two hours later i got STARVING again. i ate a corn dog. it was gross, but i wanted junk food. i had nothing else in my house so I ate three multigrain eggo waffles with butter and syrup. uhhh....yeah. and i didn't throw those up.

I lost focused today, didn't work out, and I don't really know how I just kind of lost all motivation. I mean not ALL motivation, but most of it. It was like the skinny switch switched from "on" to "off" in my head. Part of this whole process, for me atleast, is to figure out things like this so I can avoid them. But I don't know what really triggered this? I mean did waking up to the food network really throw my whole day off? It sounds drastic, but true.

I'm determined to be 100% focused tomorrow. Also, to wake up a HELL of a lot earlier (I woke up at like 2pm today...wtf? not okay.) I have my weigh in in 3 days, and I've got to go all out 100%!
Tomorrow I'm going to follow my diet exactly, drink all of my water, do cardio and do my calisthentics. which means, I have to get to bed. night!

Tired & Craving

Went to sleep later than I liked last night, and my cravings from the night before for Taco Bell came back. Couldn't stop thinking about it this morning, but I also woke up hungry. I was determined to atleast eat breakfast before I did anything else.

So for breakfast, I ate one of the Pumpkin Oatmeal Muffins from the 6 Week Body Makeover Recipe site. I substituted stevia for splenda (it doesn't take much, a little goes a long way) and here is my review:
the taste? was AWESOME. just like eating pumpkin pie. yummm
Actually everything was awesome except for the cooking time. I don't know if it was just me, but the cooking was off. It said 22-24 minutes at 350, but when I took mine out they were not nearly done. I put them in for like 40 minutes, still not done. I thought maybe if i let them sit and rest overnight they would set up properly. They were better this morning (i put mine in the microwave for like 20 seconds which helped also) but they weren't done still. Put them back in the over at 400 for like 10-15 minutes. Definietly a lot better, still a little runny, but the bottom was almost burnt so the temperature was too high at 400 obviously.
I'm thinking 375 degrees at maybe 40-45 minutes would do it maybe. I can't believe my oven is that off from the original recipe? so weird.

So I ate that with some chicken breast, also ate a salad with a tiny bit of dressing because I was extra hungry this morning. Took some adderall, waiting for it to kick in. I swear, if I'm still craving Taco Bell later today, I might just give in. I'm fighting it but I feel like unless I have it it's not gonna go away. Maybe this adderall will help though.

I'm really tired right now. Going on a walk doesn't seem very good right now, but I've still got some time so maybe later.