Cushing's Sydrome and a wholleeee lot of discouragement

I am back from my three hour long appointment with my PCOS specialist. She thinks I might have cushing's syndrome.

I feel defeated, I started crying at the doctors office, and I'm starting to cry as I write this. I feel pathetic, and like I should "grow a pair" as they say, but the thing is, I am relatively healthy. I have been pretty active all my life, and up until recently (like a few months ago) I have never been obese. I mean, I was a varsity tennis player for 5 years for christ's sake. I'm 200 pounds, not 400. I'm freaking 19 years old, not 45. Which is what I felt like when she was telling me all that was wrong with me today. what is going on with my body?

As you may know, I have been logging everything I eat on this caloriecounting website called caloriecount.about.com, and I printed out all my logs for her and showed them to her. She saw EVERYTHING, even if I cheated, she saw how much I exercised- everything. She was surprised I hadn't lost more weight, but she said for women with PCOS, sometimes the numbers just don't add up (it's not as simple as the 3500 calorie per pound burn more than you eat thing) and that it was better to be overweight an exercise than to be obese and not exercise.

I feel like crawling into a hole and dying. She is putting me on Metformin, and I will start the perscription tomorrow.

I don't want to lose faith or hope, and I am thankful for everyone I have met so far on this site. But I will say that it's very hard not to get discouraged, especially since she basically told me i don't and i won't lose weight like everyone else. I honestly feel like if I starve myself for a year (which I won't) i won't drop a pound.

I feel very ill today. I am physically, mentally, emotionally exhausted. I am taking a nap. I have not stayed on my diet, I ate a crossant and coffee after the doctor's this morning.

Obviously, the more discouraged I get the more i want to eat. I know that is normal, but I also know i need to be careful.

I am not going to throw in the towel, and tomorrow I will get everything back on track better than it was before.  And i know, i know, the whole thing about "why tomorrow? why not today?" honestly, I just need a mental break right now. I don't plan on binging, or anyting like that, and i will still eat my diet meals that I have been eating, but i probably won't go to the gym, i probably won't do my exercising. I just need to not stress over it right now. I just need a break.

Because I feel like I just got hit with a big mack truck.